Porn, mans best non-living friend?

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Rant Three: Been better?

What the hell does that mean?
"How are you?"
"Been better, you?"
"Fucking slut."
You have been better? Could of just told me s by telling me your current emotions. If we look into the past we don't gain much, only need to go forward.
Foolish girl.

Rant three: Teaching.

I didn't want to get political in this blog since i am apolitical, though i do have some small views. As a current but soon to be gone high school student, i find our education to be very lacking. I'm not a smart boy, but for some reason i'm in Honor roll. I think the reason why we are falling so behind in the world, its because our education is to easy, nothing is really challenging. The most hard thing i ever did was in math, but that's because i suck in math. I got a 96 out of 100 on my final for U.S. History, whats wrong with that?
Its not the teachers, its what we are teaching. We need harder work, i want to go home exhausted, not tired from being bored all day. But, if a teacher can make it hard but yet fun then that is the best class in the world. If we are challenged in the real world after we graduate college...why aren't we challenged in school?

Shaving with a Saftey Razor

Haha! I did it! Shaved for a safety razor for the first time and i did not cut myself! Ahh, theres a lost beauty in these little Safety razors. Not only do they shave better then those 20x blades but only save you money. The lost art in these is mostly because of better advertising...i mean they all look the same and the sheer numbers of 4 blades sounds better to a consumer but really isn't. Your shaving with a machine, those 4x blades are just an appliance. A Honda Civic is an appliance and a 68' Camaro SS is a relationship. How? Well you work for the car and it works for you. The most people do for their Hondas is take them for a tune up whenever the light appears next to the speed-o. I really do love modern society but somethings in the past were a lot better, not everything though.

Rant two: Patience

To be frankly hot dog honest, i don't have patience. But other people should. Why? Well, when you got a cunt driver her Nissan like its a GTR when its not, she gets mad at the most slight stops or turns people have to make. "Get the fuck out of the way!" Why do people act like this? Where do they have to go that's so important? Are they important? I bet the fuck not, bitch bought a Nissan. I think...if you can learn how to drive patiently and let people go, then you can achieve true life satisfaction. I'm not talking about speeding, its ok to speed once in while. More so ok to do it not in a populated zone, more like empty air strip or track days. But why are we in such a rush? Maybe that's why people are stricken with diseases, to clam us down. Ask anyone who has had a terminal diseases that kills them, life slows down and you notice all the little things you didn't notice before. Life's a lesson, to be something greater? Good fucking question, I'm no god.

Rant One

My thoughts...


Whats up with people guessing your emotions? "You seem mad" "Teh fuck does that mean?"
How do i seem mad? Can bitches assume I'm mad? "Are you sad?" "Yeah, sad your not sucking my cock". I really don't understand the assumption of emotions. I thought when people have a guess on someones emotions they don't say stupid shit that doesn't surround the actual emotion. I'm happy but some cunt face will same I'm sad. This world makes no sense. When i come to power I'll make it illegal to guess without being told so.

-King of Somewhere

Six

The Awkward Moment when you she says no.


You: Can i see your tits?
Girlfriend: No
You: Hmm...

You: Uh, wanna fuck now?
Girlfriend: No
You: I got a boner?!
Girlfriend: Go watch porn then.

You: Can i buy a new guitar?
Girlfriend: No
You: Go fuck your midget ex boyfriend then you cunt.
Girlfriend: Fine *leaves*
You: Shit...

Five

The Awkward Moment when you realize no one your age but you listens to Jazz.

Girlfriend: What the fuck is this?
You: Dave Burbeck...
Girlfriend: Sounds like something my dead grandma listened to
You: Yeah well, theres this-nevermind...*silence in car for 15 minutes

Friend: Bro, what is this?
You: Lenny Breau
Friend: Sounds like 50's music on crack, grow up.
You: Thanks...

Four

The Awkward Moment when you tell someone their zipper is open.

You: Hey, uh your zipper is open
Person: Oh, well-uh thanks...*pulls up zipper*
You: How much for hot dogs?

Three

The Awkward Moment when you tell your girlfriend you like bossing her around durning sex

You: Hey...i really liked it when i bossed you around during sex
Girlfriend: *laughing* What? Really?
You: Yeah...i'll just go now
Girlfriend: *Still laughing* What no-

Two

The awkward moment when on an interview you snot all over your face

You: *Sneeze, mucus all over hand and face, slimming off hand*
Interviewer: Oh my, let me get you a-
You: *just leave* Sigh...

First one

The Awkward Moment when you realize you have a small penis.

Girlfriend: Hey, whats your dick size?
You: 3 inches. o.o
Girlfriend: Oh...ok. Well...
You: Is that big?
Girlfriend: Er...
You: o.o...